Couples Therapy

Have you been thinking about ending your relationship…

… but still have hope for improvement?

You see ending it as a failure.

You wonder… did I settle?

Are we a match?

If we don’t make it, will the kids be okay?

Would I even know how to start over? To be on my own?

You just want to be loved and appreciated. But instead, you feel trapped.

I can’t financially afford to leave.

I feel controlled.

I have lost myself.

You start questioning if you’re responsible for your partner’s unhappiness.

My partner is so explosive that I can’t ask even the simplest question.

Am I doing enough? Are they depressed because of me?

How come their mood fluctuates moment to moment, day to day?

You feel like you don’t have any energy left.

By the time you get through a full day of work and finish running the kids around, you have nothing to give your partner.

What is date night?

Do couples still do that after many years together?

You know your relationship could be so much better. But you don’t know how to address concerns about your partner.

How can you help de-escalate when they get so defensive? How can you help them with their challenges if they shut down and refuse to talk to you?

You never had to navigate these emotions with them before.

The intimacy and romance have fizzled…

Do you and your partner sleep in the same bed anymore?

You both spend less time together. Your partner spends more time with others, enjoying everyone else’s company more than yours.

They’ve found hobbies they enjoy, and you don’t even know what they like anymore.

It feels like you have to do everything – your partner relies on you for it all…

Household tasks…

Getting the kids from school to every practice or game…

Peacemaker for all the family squabbles…

Not to mention, you’re responsible for everyone’s emotional well-being.

Therapy for you and your loved one: partner or family member.

Couples therapy is not a last-ditch effort to save a relationship.

It’s an opportunity to learn to understand one another better and communicate more effectively.

When we meet as a group, we have the chance to have conversations that usually do not happen. It can highlight differences in beliefs and alternate perspectives in relationship models that differ between you.

We learn, for instance, the thoughts and fears that some have regarding money. Some worry about money and are frugal and avid savers. Others are extravagant spenders and don’t worry. Some watch the money exit their account and wonder when it will be replenished. Other couples want to be equal financially, but one partner might make more than the other based on their profession.

Differences are felt emotionally, and differences are thought to be bad. Understanding can allow the couple to see the value and strength of a varying opinion. Each partner’s point of reference is attached to a prior experience, which might have existed before the relationship.

When we communicate, we typically don’t provide the context or the feeling we are experiencing, and we act a certain way. Couples therapy aims to uncover our ‘whys.’ Whys improve communication and allow partners to align and support one another. We learn to speak using the “I” statement and to stay in the present moment.

My role is not one of a scorekeeper.

There is no winning or losing. You are both on the same team. There is also no right or wrong… good or bad. Let’s leave the moral judgment out of it.

You’ll share your feelings and experiences.

We will explore the past to better understand your fears, motivations, and behavior patterns without judgment or blame.

Depending on the concerns…

I may also want to meet with each of you individually for a deeper understanding of each person. I often find that each person needs some individual healing to be a better partner.

Couples therapy can help at any stage of the relationship.

Rebuilding trust in one’s self…

You are good at relationships. Trust was temporarily lost, and you started questioning the relationship’s safety and security.

Minimizing conflict…

We do this by learning to express how you are feeling more accurately. Instead of mentioning or complaining about things, you will share what is on your mind – your wants, challenges, dreams, and expectations.

Rekindling connection…

You will start flirting again, sending texts that aren’t just about the grocery list or the kids. You will smile more. You will want to have date nights. You will notice that you communicate differently and ask for what you want and need. There will no longer be uncommunicated expectations.

Increasing intimacy…

There will be sparks and fireworks again – hugs, kisses, and handholding.

Coping with life changes and stressors…

The safety and security in the relationship will be restored, which will solidify the partnership allowing for decisions and planning to be done collaboratively.

Let’s uncover the love that still remains.

There is no better time than the present to have the relationship you want, how you want, for as long as you want.

Call me now: (617) 620-1072.